


Picture Perfect

by melagan



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: 12 Days of Lorne 2014, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:56:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3095663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melagan/pseuds/melagan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As it turns out, Colonel Sheppard isn't the only one that never sees it coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Picture Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 12 Days of Lorne 2014. Beta by [Mischief5](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mischief5/pseuds/mischief5)

Portraits were not Lorne's strong suit. Now, give him a still life or scenic view and he had it, if not exactly mastered, at least he could sink into the pure joy of painting. Portraits were a different kind of beast. He carefully laid out his brushes and paints, trying not to dwell on how badly he'd gotten roped into, ah – thoughtfully commissioned – into doing portraits for the senior staff in the first place. 

Elizabeth had smiled. Carson had goddamned dimpled, and Rodney had happily declared it the perfect Christmas gift solution. Sheppard hadn't said anything but Ronon looked approving while stroking his thumb over his tattoo and Teyla… This was Teyla's fault and her little speech about legacy and art. Lorne knew he was lost when she'd used the word 'noble' and even Colonel Sheppard had sat up straighter. 

He couldn't say no after that. Worse, in the timeless tradition of art critics, everyone wanted to make changes. Be it by email, a casual drop by his quarters, blatant bribery by shoving the last chocolate muffin onto his tray in the mess they made _suggestions_. 

Some asked for fewer laugh lines or thicker hair. Others wanted moles left out or some other tiny part changed that they viewed as being less than perfect. The only one that hadn't popped by with a suggestion for improvement was Col. Sheppard.

Lorne froze. Oh god. He was going to have to try to paint the Colonel's hair. He didn't know whether to weep or get drunk. 

He needed a break, and by happy coincidence, it was lunchtime. Close enough anyway. If nothing else, Dr. Parrish was always up for a hot cup of that herbal stuff he drank. The one that made his breath smell like gingerbread and his lips turn rosy pink. Yep, a detour to botany was exactly what he needed. 

David Parrish was already in the mess looking hopelessly distracted. Lorne watched as the doc juggled a cup, an apple, and a sandwich, all while trying not to bite through the cookie in his mouth. Whoops – spoke too soon. 

Parrish stared mournfully down at the crumbs spilling down his shirtfront. Taking pity on him, Lorne walked over and held up a tray. "See if this helps, doc."

"Major, thank you! You are a lifesaver. But I wasn't going to eat in here. I'm heading back to the westside greenhouse."

"I think they'll let you take the tray with you doc." 

"Oh. I didn't think of that." 

Lorne smiled and shook his head. "Of course, you didn't. Your thoughts were a million miles away on some new, alien plant."

Parrish looked thoroughly chagrined and Lorne couldn't let him leave like that. "Hey, doc, how about I join you? I was just taking a break myself and the greenhouse sounds like a nice change from the mess hall. I'll even bring the food."

Parrish's face lit up and Lorne knew he'd said exactly the right thing.

~*~

"So," Lorne said, stealing a grape off Parrish's plate, "you really think this plant can help me with the portraits?"

Parrish bobbed his head in agreement. "I'd experiment with it first, but yes, the bristles of the Yammu plant stay pliable even when dried." 

He watched as Parrish's long, agile fingers made branching, upward motions. Suddenly Lorne got it, and he grinned. "Sheppard's hair."

"Exactly."

Lorne didn't exactly pursue gossip, but he did keep his ears open. It never hurt to know which way the wind was blowing. So, when the conversation turned toward his CO, he found himself nodding in agreement. "You're right, doc. It's got me and his whole team baffled, to be honest. Sheppard just never notices when someone is attracted to him. Dr. McKay calls it The Never- Sees-It-Coming syndrome." 

"Is it a military thing, do you think?" Parrish held out his sandwich for Lorne to taste.

"Mm, you're right; they are doing something different with the roast beast. It's good." Wiping his mouth, Lorne continued, holding up his hand to count on his fingers.

"There was the time with the Traveler woman, and the time with princess girl in the Atlantis look-a-like tower. One of the scientists, Esposito, I think, fluttered her eyelashes at him for a week and he never noticed. Wait, doc, you've got mustard on your chin." Lorne leaned over and dabbed at Parrish's face with his napkin. "That's better."

"Thank you, Major, but you didn't answer me. Do you think this particular blindness is part of the military mindset?"

"Call me, Evan, please. Nah, I don't see how it could be." Lorne started gathering up the remnants of their picnic lunch.

"If you'll call me David. Doctor Parrish sounds like my father. As I was saying, perhaps this is an effective way to reduce security risk? Wouldn't you agree that it would be more difficult to be enticed into revealing secrets if one isn't even aware of the enticements, Evan?"

"You may have a point, but I have no idea how you'd prove something like that." Lorne stood up and dusted off his hands. "Next time, I'm bringing a blanket."

David's eyes sparked in amusement but Lorne had no idea what he found funny. Botanist humor. Sometimes, it was better not to ask. He'd learned that after the whole stamen, pistil, long-winded explanation he'd gotten the first time he'd let curiosity get the better of him. Damn, if he still didn't have the occasional man-eating plant nightmare. 

With a shake of his head, he shrugged the idea off. He didn't want to burst the doc's bubble but his theory about the military and social blind spots was ridiculous. After all, they were trained to be sharp and aware of their surroundings. 

Like now. They were surrounded by leafy vegetation, some of it thick enough to provide privacy for two men, but Lorne had checked it out and no one was hiding there. Then there was David Parrish, obvious as anything, bent over tugging at some plant, his strong, lanky frame showing off his flexibility. Anyone with half an eye could see he found his work fascinating. 

Lorne cleared his throat. "So, ah, David, do you want to do this tomorrow?"

"I look forward to it, Evan, it's a da…I look forward to it."

Lorne left the greenhouse with some of the Yummu plant in his hand and a bounce in his step. He planned to score some chocolate for tomorrow off Chuck and he couldn't wait to see David's eyes light up when he pulled that surprise out of the basket. 

 

It wasn't until he was standing in front of a blank canvas it occurred to him that he wouldn't mind painting David's portrait. Maybe David could pose for him in person. Lorne starting humming as he worked the gesso onto the canvas. Yep, it was a brilliant idea if he said so himself. He'd ask the doc if he'd sit for him tomorrow.

 

As for his crazy idea linking the military with _The Never-Sees-It-Coming syndrome,_ well, in time, Lorne was sure he could dissuade him of that silly idea. Maybe at lunch – over the strawberries and chocolate.

*


End file.
